Some of us have had significant suffering in our lives. Others of us have experienced less suffering. How we deal with our suffering has a significant impact on our entire life, soul and body.

This inventory is only a tool. It is not meant to be a definitive diagnosis of suffering or woundedness. It is important that you work with someone on any unhealed suffering you uncover. Do not do it alone. Hopefully, this inventory assists you in this element of your spiritual journey.

Suffering without Christ leads to unhealed wounds. These wounds lead to passions such as anger, sadness, pride, anxiety, fear, jealousy, greed, gluttony and a host of potential addictions. They also develop a distorted, damaged, self-image.

Ironically, we may think negative experiences we had as young people did not cause us suffering. We think we are tougher than that. Unfortunately, many experiences did cause wounds that were never healed and have been festering inside us. When we ignore our suffering, it stunts our growth as a person and creates infected wounds that spread to many areas of life. These wounds usually manifest in various spiritual, mental and physical conditions.

Your report will help you identify unhealed suffering, any distortion of your self-image, and will help you become aware of reaction and coping behaviors you may be doing. Lastly, there will be action steps to consider for your healing of your wounds and distorted self-image.

Introduction

Some of us have had significant suffering in our lives. Others of us have experienced less suffering. How we deal with our suffering has a significant impact on our entire life, soul and body.

This inventory is only a tool. It is not meant to be a definitive diagnosis of suffering or woundedness. It is important that you work with someone on any unhealed suffering you uncover. Hopefully, this inventory assists you in this element of your spiritual journey.

Suffering without Christ leads to unhealed wounds. These wounds lead to passions such as anger, depression, anxiety, fear, jealousy, greed, gluttony and a host of potential addictions. They also develop a distorted, damaged, self-image.

Most of us tend to ignore or cover up our suffering, rather than facing it face to face. Our Lord met His suffering face-to-face. Christ’s suffering and resurrection transformed the world. Likewise, co-suffering with Christ heals our wounds, transforms, and grows us as a person.

Ironically, we may think negative experiences we had as young people did not cause us suffering. We think we are tougher than that. Unfortunately, many experiences did cause wounds that were never healed and have been festering inside us. When we ignore our suffering, it stunts our growth as a person and creates infected wounds that spread to many areas of life. These wounds usually manifest in various spiritual, mental and physical conditions.

This inventory is meant to help you become aware of suffering and unhealed wounds that may be buried. Many times, this suffering dates back to our younger years. We may have ignored or buried suffering during these periods to cope and survive. As you uncover suffering and wounds you have not considered for many years, bring your wounds to the Lord, your Spiritual Father/Mother, and/or a friend or counselor. Do not try and explore this alone. We need each other.

You will benefit greatly by meeting your suffering face-to-face and bringing it into God’s light for healing. Learning to co-suffer with Christ when you are hurting will deeply enrich your life. You can then experience the sanctifying potential that suffering can generate.

The inventory will also help you identify distortions you may have regarding your self-image. When we do not heal our wounds by suffering with Christ, we tend to internalize lies about who we are to our core. We tell ourselves stories about who we think we are, in order to make sense of the suffering. The problem is that these stories are false and demeaning to our person. We develop a dark and distorted image. All human beings are made in the image of God, with every potential to grow into His likeness. Wounds distort our view of ourselves and convince us that we are flawed to the core. Our self-image can become so distorted, we cannot discern the difference between wounds, or sins that need repentance. Healing and growth becomes blocked.

Lastly, your inventory report will discuss approaches to healing your wounds. Healing takes time, however, the Lord can and does heal us. We reorient ourselves from self-esteem, to Christ-esteem. God willing, it will help you get on the path to repentance and growing in Christ-likeness. This path can grow the image of God in you to become a light to all those around you.

Four forms of suffering Exercise

Try and calm your mind and body to open your heart and life memories. Find a quiet place. Take your time on this reflection. Remember where you grew up. Recall where you played and with whom. Remember school and extracurricular activities. Think about how you experienced your upbringing in your family. Think about your relationship with your mom, dad, family members and relatives. Recall your friendships and relationships. Also ponder your life memories since those early years until today. Identify what brought you sadness, stress, fear, pain, frustration and anger. In essence, what caused suffering to you?

This is not meant to bring up difficult memories and blame our childhood or suffering for our troubles and circumstances. It is to acknowledge suffering that was never fully healed. Even in healthy families, suffering can be denied, buried, and ignored. This exercise is designed to help us explore these areas of life. Whether we have major suffering, or little suffering, it can lead to beautiful awareness and healing of the soul.

Again, take a break with some time and think about your life memories. Consider re-reading the above paragraphs. Then proceed with the inventory.

Suffering as a result of the fallen world. This form of suffering happens because we live in a fallen world. No one is at fault. This is suffering such as genetic diseases, death of a loved one, natural disasters or terminal illnesses. They simply happen to us, they are out of anyone’s control.

Give your response to each of the following statements regarding this form of suffering.

Suffering from other people misusing their free will. This form of suffering is caused by other people hurting us. God has given all human beings free will. When we misuse our free will, we harm others and ourselves. This form of suffering comes from other people intentionally, or unintentionally, misusing their free will in a harmful way. They caused us pain, stress, or harm. Recall interactions with people or environments that caused these types of experiences in your life.

Give your response to each of the following statements regarding this form of suffering.

Suffering from pursuing Christ. This form of suffering stems from worldly pressures we experience by following Christ. The martyrs of the Church are the most glaring example. They were tortured and killed, simply because they openly followed Christ. The beatitudes teach us that we will be blessed if we are persecuted for Christ’s namesake.

Give your response to each of the following statements regarding this form of suffering.

Suffering caused by our own decisions. This form of suffering happens because we make poor decisions that cause suffering to ourselves, or those around us. We misuse our free will. Sin leads to separation from God and has real life consequences. We suffer from sinful behavior that we choose to do, voluntarily, or involuntarily.

Make a list of decisions you have made that were off the mark and you have not yet had resolution with God. This is your confession list to bring to your Spiritual Father. Consider taking the ‘Passions and Virtues’ inventory. The lowest scored passions are areas that you may be suffering. Passions are sinful habits that separate us from God and cause suffering to ourselves and others.

Self-Image Distortion

As we already mentioned, unhealed wounds from suffering can lead to a distorted self-image. This occurs when we did not invite Christ to co-suffer with us. We tried to survive through our own strength. Our wounds never healed. Overtime they likely got infected and spread.

We usually create and embrace a life story to endure through our suffering. These stories attempt to make sense of why our suffering occurred. For example, one person I coached suffered greatly from peer teasing and rejection. To make sense of it, they concluded they were weird, stupid, and not good enough. Over the years this became their story. It was who they thought they were to the core. Doesn’t this make sense? It is easy to see how and why they did this. They had to explain their friends’ behavior. ‘There must be something wrong with me.’ This of course was false, as the Lord creates everyone in His image, with every potential to grow into His likeness. They suffered from a distorted image. This generated great challenges for them in life. It was not until they brought these wounds of weird, stupid and not good enough, into God’s light that healing began to take hold.

On the inventory, you marked the following as potential sources of suffering:

Take some time and remember what you experienced during these times of suffering. How did it make you feel about yourself? What emotions did it bring up in you? How did you survive through the suffering? How did it make you feel about yourself to the core?

As you remember these suffering experiences, respond to the following statements as it relates to how your suffering made you feel about who you are as a person. These are wounds that other people have expressed during our coaching.

Reactions and Coping with Our Distorted Self-Image

When wounds have caused us to have a distorted self-image, we tend to react in ways that harm our hearts. We also develop coping behaviors to deal with these wounds. While the wounds are in the dark, they hurt and need to be soothed or medicated. This dynamic generates harmful passions inside our hearts. For example, consider the wound of ‘I will never be good enough’. This distortion is very painful. We will find ways to react or cope with this wound. It hurts.

The wounds you identified that may need your attention are:

Take a few moments and bring these wounds into the light. It can help to prioritize two or three of them. Truly acknowledge them. Allow yourself to feel the hurt, pain, and discomfort you feel from these wounds. It is alright. We all have wounds. This next section will help you figure out ways you may react, cope, or escape from these wounds.

Reaction Behaviors

We react in a variety of ways to our wounds. It is natural. Think of our physical wounds. We feel the pain. We protect the wound. We clean it. We nurse it to health. For our spiritual wounds, we many times ignore and bury them. Yet, the hurt is still there. We may react in a variety of ways. These reactions can develop passions in our hearts.

Respond to these reaction behaviors in relation to your life.

Coping and Escape Behaviors

When our self-image is distorted by wounds, we find ways to sooth or medicate our pain. Passions will develop in our hearts. We figure out how to cope or escape for relief. These behaviors bring temporary pleasure. Short-term pleasure brings relief but does not heal our wounds. The opposite is true. Our wounds get infected, spread, and require even more intense relief pleasures to deal with our buried pain. Harmful and addictive tendencies come from this medicating dynamic. Passions then intensify.

Respond to the following statements regarding coping and escape behaviors in your life.